Exceptionally Large People

One thing to do while you're waiting around for your kid to finish with a carnival ride, besides wave when she goes by, is to read the safety warnings. Not because anyone will be any safer, but because they're there, like the labels on the condiments at your table while waiting for your food, or the small print on sweepstakes entry forms.

We visited the Taste of Westmont this weekend -- the town's summer festival on the main street -- and I noted a bit of verbage I'd never seen before posted at each of the rides, even the ones for wee small children. Namely: "Due to the design of the seating safety device on this ride, exceptionally large people may not be able to ride."

Just a sign of our times, I figure. And I'm deeply concerned about the "exceptionally large people" public health crisis, with some people now topping out at seven and a half or eight feet tall, with hands the size of elephant ears and feet as long as snowboards.