New Jellies

Out and about on Saturday, a warm late summer day. Included was a visit to the Cosley Zoo, a vest-pocket zoo in Wheaton, Ill., which has the great virtue of being free. It also has picnic tables. We bought fried chicken and a few other items at a drive-through and sat ourselves down for lunch at the Cosley. It was pleasant until a few bees came to join us. The adults among us weren’t too upset, but the children refused to practice a nonchalant attitude, and their agitation disrupted things more than the bees.

The day also included a visit to a Costco that isn’t our usual one, which is always a little disorienting, since no two layouts of that store seem to be quite the same. Just an impression. Haven’t done a study of the warehouses.

One item we picked up was a four-pound plastic jug of Jelly Bellies, the jellybean that Ronald Reagan made famous. The label promises all of 49 favors, which are pictured and named. The pictures are a little fuzzy compared to the actual beans, so it isn’t always clear what you’re getting in to. Or rather, what’s getting into you. We’ve experienced this jug of jellies before, so everyone has favorites and dislikes. I don’t know what it’s officially called, but there’s one I call Cigarette Butt. A vile flavor. Most of them are pretty good, though.

Today was a stay-at-home sort of day, so I spent a while inventing new flavors for Jelly Belly. I mean, they’re just not adventurous enough – blueberry, coconut, grape jelly, lemon lime, licorice, pina colada and root beer (for example) are fine, but what about fugu and belladonna? Or meat flavors like Spam, bacon fat and cheeseburger? Why offer plain ol’ licorice when you can call it Black Sabbath? What about Spud? Durian? Circus peanut? Harvey Wallbanger?