A Solution What Hasn't Side Effect

Still Decemberish. Went downtown for a meeting, and the city streets were in winter mode: heavy coats, visible steam-vent billows, even a patch or two of ice near the curbs.

Haven’t read any funny spam in a while, not even any messages asking me, in fractured English, to retrieve a lost fortune from an African bank. Of course, I don’t actually read most of what I get—who would or could?—but the preview window at the bottom of my e-mail inbox sometimes lets me know something amusing’s come in over the transom.

The following is spam with a comic Slavic accent. At least, that’s what my mind’s ear heard when I read the message. In fact, it was the only thing that made me keep reading it, so I could appreciate English mangled just so (all verbatim):

Sensational revolution in medicine!

Enlarge your penis up to 10 cm or up to 4 inches!

It's herbal solution what hasn't side effect, but has 100% guaranteed results!

Don't loose your chance and but know wihtout doubts, you will be impressed with results!

A Boris Badinoff voice, that’s what I hear. Ever since Pottsylvania’s totalitarian government fell, he and Natasha have had to make their livings in capitalist ways (Fearless Leader is an important figure in the new kleptocracy, I figure). Bulk e-mail is just the thing. Watch for messages that end in “.pot”.