Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Dead Men Tell No Tales

The video created by the latest mass murderer seemed to be getting an inordinate amount of attention today, as these things do. Assorted talking heads are busy now trying to use it to figure out the twisted lad's motivation, etc. At times like this, the wisdom of President Merkin Muffley in Dr. Strangelove comes to mind.

General "Buck" Turgidson: General Ripper called Strategic Air Command headquarters shortly after he issued the go code. I have a portion of the transcript of that conversation if you'd like me to to read it.

President Muffley: Read it.

General Turgidson: Ahem. The Duty Officer asked General Ripper to confirm the fact that he had issued the go code, and he said, uh, "Yes, gentlemen, they are on their way in, and no one can bring them back. For the sake of our country, and our way of life, I suggest you get the rest of SAC in after them. Otherwise, we will be totally destroyed by Red retaliation. Uh, my boys will give you the best kind of start, 1400 megatons worth, and you sure as hell won't stop them now. Uh, so let's get going, there's no other choice. God willing, we will prevail, in peace and freedom from fear, and in true health, through the purity and essence of our natural... fluids. God bless you all." And he hung up.


General Turgidson: Uh, we're, still trying to figure out the meaning of that last phrase, sir.

President Muffley: There's nothing to figure out, General Turgidson. The man is obviously a psychotic.


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