Add Trap Doors and a Gong

Lilly, who has been watching American Idol with some regularity, has stopped doing so. "It's gotten boring," she said. I'm not in a position to comment on that opinion. Her media interests come and go, after all. Only Spongebob has been constant in her esteem over the years.

About five minutes every few months is all I've ever seen of American Idol, but despite that I was able to offer some suggestions that would spice up the viewing experience for her and the rest of the teen demographic. Trap doors, for one thing. Losers go out through trap doors. The producers could rig things so that no one would be hurt, and the effect could be dramatic. Also, a gong for losers. Like on The Gong Show.

Once I mentioned that, I had to explain The Gong Show to her. Well, describe it, since I'm not sure anyone can quite explain it. You could make an argument that it was an absurdist masterpiece, if you had a lot of time on your hands and nothing better to do. But it isn't something that could be revived, since the moment has passed, and since we have YouTube in our time to fill a similar niche hundreds of times over. Naturally, YouTube has a lot of clips from the original show.